Parallel Universe

The show went off the air in May but I have just discovered West Wing, the TV Oval Office drama. I did watch sporadic episodes during the first couple of seasons, but in the house where I'm cat-sitting there is a complete six-season set of DVDs. That's 120 hours of programming. Five full days of programming. I didn't mean for this to happen -- but it has taken over my life.

I get up and pop in a DVD, I come home from work and watch until the middle of the night. I came home for lunch one day for a particular crucial episode.

They are getting worried about me at the office where I begun calling the conference room the Situation Room and hung a picture of Josh and Donna on my bulletin board. "This is a sure sign of depression," my boss warned.

"It could be, I admitted, just like Josh after he got shot in the assassination attempt."

"No, I'm worried about you," he persisted.

"That's great," I gushed, "like President Barlet worries about his staffers."

Ok, snap out of it -- you have to drill Leila on her fund-raising pitch -- Wow, like debate prep on West Wing.

Truly, I am not escaping by watching hours of West Wing. I find if of great relevance to things that interest me, odd as that might seem about a program focusing on the lives of top-level White House staffers. I can quote you:

Diet: Toby eating a salad notes, " It's a bowl of weeds, which, incidentally, you could cover in barbecue sauce and it would still taste like the ground." or "I need some pie."

Editing advice: An exchange as Toby reads over Sam's shoulder as he writes a speech
T -- "Sam, you're gonna come to a verb soon?
S -- "You know what they call this?"
T -- "Bad writing?"
S -- "Imagery!"
T' -- "Any time you want to use some punctuation in here would be good..."

Compliment: CJ Cregg chides one of the reporters, "You're a rabble rouser. You rouse rabble!"

Threat: Leo warns CJ that if things go wrong, "I'll put snakes in your car. They'll lay eggs in the glove box."

E-mail indiscretion: Josh gets too involved with subscribers to a fan web site dedicated to him and winds up writing to them, "I'm gonna shove a motherboard so far up your ass!" He is not fired.

Bosnia -- Josh sees no problem with the fact that he hates ballet even though he's never seen one and the only one he can name is Nutcracker. "I've never been to Bosnia," he says, "and I don't think I will."

Divorce -- Kate celebrates her "Annivorcery" every year and Andie tells Toby she won't marry him again because, "You are too sad for me. You're sad and angry and I can't change that."

Is Toby's mood really that bad? Two samples: "There is literally no one in the world I don't hate right now." and "We're waiting a day to announce (a new appointment) out of respect for the dead, and how I wish I were one of them."

Motivation -- Leo tells Josh, "Don't screw up or do anything to embarrass me." Josh responds, "Hmm. Leo. Knute Rockne. Something I get them mixed up."

Love your parents -- Jed tells Mallory, "Give your dad a break. He's your father."

End of Life issues -- Leo rallies the troops at the start of the last year of a lame-duck presidency as the team is losing steam and wants to take it easy: "This is our last game. Let's leave it all out on the field."

And speaking of end of life issues, West Wing was retired this year --for one reason coz one of the star actors died --but mostly because it seems that the main fans of the show are people my age -- mid 50s.

Ok, I'll try to stop talking about it now.