Friday, September 08, 2006

How my souvenir from America became a threat to world peace

So Jane has returned from her leave ending my summer-long career as a house-sitter. As a thank you she'd asked me what I wanted her to bring me from the states and I'd requested Big Red gum for Alison, our intern, who cannot find her regular brand here, salmon cat snacks for Henry and a box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese for Miranda who has long heard of this American speciality and wanted a sample.

Heightened air security made this last wish impossible.

Jane reports that a crack Transportation Security Administration operative spotted the two new and unopened boxes of Kraft in her carry-on and snapped, "I see a problem here!"

The macaroni was ok, the agent said, but that cheese...

A TSA colleague said, no, it was ok because the cheese came in the powder.

No, the crack agent responded not the Supreme Macaroni and Cheese. Jane has indulgently brought me the deluxe top-grade Kraft macaroni and cheese. And in this box, the cheese is not a powder but a squishy, gel-like mix.

So, for the sake of combatting terrorism and keeping the airways safe for Americans, the agents ripped open the boxes and conviscated the offending packets of cheese mix.

They did leave the elbow macaroni, which arrived in Sarajevo, strewn all over her carry-on luggage from the ripped boxes.

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