Monday, November 13, 2006

Meanwhile, back in Sarajevo, Drew and Henry are having differences

Drew sent me the following transcipt of conversations he's been having about Henry, whom he's babysitting:

In the office:

Employee (with previous experience babysitting Henry): Yeah. It took the longest turd I have ever seen and left it on the floor. That cat is no good.
Drew: I agree. It's pretty much ruined my ability to think clearly anymore.
E: You should take it on a trip to Ilidza. You can leave it in a field.
D: What will I tell Rosemary.
E: You say it ran away.
D: That would be lying.
E: We don't care about cats so much here in Bosnia like you do in America. I had a cat and a dog when I was young and it died. I didn't feel so bad. I feel a little bad.
D: It would starve to death.
E: It would eat the mouses. It would be happy.
D: In the field?
E: Yeah. It can play and eat the mouses.

Phone conversation on Skype:

Friend: Oh my God. Do you have a baby? What's that crying?
Drew: Oh that's Rosemary's Goddam cat.
F: It sounds horrible. Is it sick?
D: No. It's that way all the time. It whines continuously 24 hours a day except right before it jumps into my dinner plate and mixes my mash potatoes around with its cat-littery paws.
F: Let it outside then. It's like a nail into my skull.
D: It was just outside whining to get in.
F: Well, Pet it.
D: I am. Mmmfmgml
F: What was that?
D: Sorry, it put its paws into my mouth. I think it's trying to crawl inside.
F: It's driving me freaking crazy. Can you shut it up?
D: No. It does this all day except when it shits on the floor.
F: Maybe it's mentally ill. Maybe you should euthanize it.
D: I would in a second if it was mine but Rosemary sleeps with it, eats off the same plate together. They shower together I think. They're best friends.
F: Look. I think we should break up. This isn't going to work.

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