Monday, January 14, 2008

Emphasis on Air in Airports

Oxygen Bar at Las Vegas Airport

Part I

I'm in the Albany Airport flying out to Seattle, in the security line with the other passengers cattle-like, removing metal, electronics and shoes from my body when a uniformed guard comes up and directs me to leave my shoes on and follow him to the machine.

What?

But you have to obey the imperious fools or be put on a terrorist suspect list and never be allowed to fly again.

The machine turns out to be the Puffer. It's a stainless steel and glass Time Travel looking tube. The guard explains to me that I'll be put inside where puffs of air will be directed at various parts of my body and then air in the Time Travel machine will be analyzed before I am let out.

Analyzed for what? I ask.

Explosives.

Really, airport security is just getting more and more stupid.

Part II

I'm in the Las Vegas airport with a hideous 4 1/2 hour layover before my connection from Seattle to Albany. The $10 in quarters I've allotted myself for amusement with the slot machines in this airport for entertainment to kill time have evaporated in 14 minutes. I spot the 02 Bar.

For $21, you get a tube to stick up your nose. It is attached to these little bottles of colored liquid arranged in little stands on a counter top. You breathe in through your nose and out your mouth and take in pure and scented oxygen. You can mix up the scents to get hints of mango and berry and peppermint each of which has supposedly characteristics such as "refreshing" and "visualizing." The counter top was swarmed by rowdy college types looking for a hangover cure and men yelling at their wives and daughters: "How much? I get my oxygen for free!"

So I did it, chalking it up to a new experience. But it didn't seem to really do much, I have to say. I didn't notice a big difference. My money slid away as easily and for as little gain as if I'd stayed at the slot machine.

4 comments:

CJ said...

I definitely relate to this post, fellow JAWdess

And it reminded me of one of the many reasons I love Vegas:) The airport is an experience by itself.

A few years back I swear I was on the yellow list and got escorted to the 'potential threats' line everytime. I am not looking forward to this air contraption but thanks for the heads up

Dianne said...

Hey, it's your long lost sister-out-law. I hope you didn't think that we couldn't stay friends (or sisters) just because of life's circumstances. You know I'm not like that. Catch me up to date on your life and let me know how you are doing. We've moved -- left Syracuse. Told you we would!

D.

Rosemary Armao said...

Oh Dianne, that is exactly what I thought. It means a lot to me to see this. The only address I have for you is a work email that must not be effective anymore. Please send me a new contact at rosemary.armao@gmail.com and do tell me where you are! Thanks so much for writing.

Suzie said...

I saw your blog write-up in the JAWS newsletter and finally came to it and read everything. What fantastic traveling you've been doing, as usual. Some day, some day, I'm going to finish my roundup from Seattle and the NW. Meanwhile, please don't forget to message me when your blog has something blatantly feminist so that I can link to it in my blog, echidne of the snakes.

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