Taxi drivers are the same everywhere in the world

The guidebooks tout the cheap, reliable cabs that take you anywhere in gigantic Istanbul. We must disagree.

We got into a cab this morning for what we knew would be a long ride to see the Church of the Chora. Built in the 11th Century, it survived an earthquake late in the 13th Century and conversion into a mosque in the 16th Century and now as a museum still has some of the most beautiful mosaics from the live of Mary and Jesus anywhere in the world.

But this ride seemed way longer than we expected. There's a children's holiday this weekend, the cabbie told us, and the main road is shut down.

So we went the long way around and paid nearly $25 for a cab ride. Coming in from the airport to the city had been cheaper. We consoled ourselves with the fact that we'd seen a lot of the neighborhoods and what was one bad ride.

A couple of hours later after touring the church and having a tea at a cafe nearby we found a cabbie eager for us to get in his car.

Oh, he told us, as he wove up and down streets, the main road is closed. Drew looked at me and said "I don't know if I'm buying that." Now, this is a bone of contention, but I maintain that in the same decibel and seated directly behind the cabbie where it would have been difficult to hear me I said, "You think we are being taken for a ride." Drew was furious. I was loud and the guy spoke English. I was pissed because hell, if we were being taken for a ride why not bitch about it or get out.

So, eventually after going up one street and down another, the driver announces that the Spice Market, where we had wanted to go, was a 10-minute walk that way. He stopped and pointed. The meter said, 9,60. I gave him a 10 YTL note and we began to get out. The driver started complaining, using Turkish not English, that I'd paid with the wrong money and he was holding up a 1 million note. This is old Turkish currency no longer in use. "Where did you get that?" Drew asked and so I confusedly handed over a 20. The driver held up a 250,000 note and said it was still wrong. Drew began What the? and I finally got it. Drew, I said, he's changing the notes.

Drew immediately realized too what was happening and we got into a big row yelling that he was a cheat and to give us our money back and him yelling to get out and threatening to call police, a threat we welcomed. Finally, we left the car, but as we slid out Drew told me to leave my door open. He did the same and the guy took off only to slam into a lamp pole with his rear passenger door a minute later. We checked his license plate as we got out. It had been doctored. We should have checked in before getting in.

That night we took a taxi from the hotel to Taksim Square over the Golden Horn where we were meeting Boki for dinner. The fare was 12 YTL, which only showed us how the first cabbie had taken us. Then as we exited the cabbie complained that Drew had only given him a 5. "I gave you 15, he said surly, and we walked away tired of taxi tricks.