This kissing business

Algerians kiss for greeting. Men kiss men, women kiss women, they kiss each other. But it's a tricky affair. You don't kiss just anyone.

For example, a young woman who used to work at the newspaper came back for a visit and was introduced to me. She kissed me in the prescribed way, two kisses one on each cheek. But her friends were surprised and said, wow, you kissed her and hardly know her. It seems she thought I had a good heart.

You don't really KISS the two cheeks, you just touch cheeks. Got that? cheek to cheek, not lips to cheek. Although our cleaning lady must also think I have a good heart, or a good sense of tipping at least, because she kisses and uses lips.

If you really are happy to see someone, or they've been away a while, or you like them very much you kiss FOUR times.

I like this kissing business, although I have threatened to bring in a stop watch and calculate how much time is lost to greetings and kissings.

As in Uganda, greetings are very serious, and here, bilingual. Ca va? Bien? Labas? That's French and Arabic for how goes it? good? very well? There are lots of variation. Salam ali Koum -- peace be with you or Sabah al Kheir (which I am practicing pronouncing) that means good morning. To which you respond Labas or Hamdulilah -- thanks to God. It's like praying and being nice to people at the same time.

Plain old handshakes like we have? Very tricky here. Some Muslim men think it wrong and insulting to touch a woman other than a relative, so you can't offer your hand. If they put out a hand, it's OK. Hugs, common in Italian gatherings, are not used here, although I did it once, explaining it, to a friend whose father is very ill.

I am not the first person to see the humor in all this kissing business. See the movie Borat.